Tattered covers and sexy cowgirls

28 Mar

On Monday evening we headed down to Lodo (Lower Downtown… check me out with the local lingo!). We took the train and on the way we got given a lecture on the American superbowl by an excitable group of black hipsters. There was something about someone called T-bo or Teebone? and something about a large sum of money changing hands? Safe to say I now understand American football even less than I did to start with! When we got off we took a stroll down 16th and found a bookshop called ‘The Tattered Cover’.

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Having read about it in our guide books we went in for a look-see. It’s basically a shop straight out of Harry Potter; Big winged armchairs, shelves heaving with eccentric books on everything from flower pressing through to South American monkeys. Staffed by a giant transsexual and a friendly lady with a withered arm, it was painfully awesome and bohemian. I shall definitely be going again to type on my laptop, buy iced coffees and look refined. Anyway, in the end Dan and I bought a book about Darwin and a guide to Colorado birdspotting. Then, deciding we were all cultured-out, we went to do a bit of birdspotting of a rather different variety… Coyote Ugly, where feminism goes to die!

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There’s nothing quite like sitting down for a beer whilst a scantily clad lady in a cowboy hat dances over you and accuses you of staring at her ass… (Mother, father I’m sorry, you raised me better) I felt very out of place and acutely British! With my Darwin book clutched protectively over my lap, I watched the punters pay for bottles of Coors and Bud Light with a side order of verbal abuse. My favourites being ‘Are you guys all here for a team building exercise? Work’s over … get drunk fuckers!!!’ and whilst pouring a glass of water all over the bar in front of a frightened teatotaller ‘hell no H20! I only serve beer pussy!’. It was indeed a change of scene: From looking at books on alpine wildlife with Bach in the background to watching tonic water being squirted to mime female ejaculation in front of a big neon sign reading ‘No cock on the bar’. I loved it! Maybe it’s just because I’m attention seeking and like being flirted with by snakehipped ladies (who’s main goal was to make you spend an extra 20 bucks on a body shot!). I would definitely take any visiting Brits for a night out you simply couldn’t have outside the US.

As an aside: One of the other things I noticed was as well as the redblooded American males eying up the girl-candy there was, surprisingly, a big gay crowd; a Mexican lesbian couple and a stoned gay Thai bloke were also clearly regulars. The Thai bloke in question was a somewhat unwelcome addition in that he was was staring at me and Dan in a way that veered somewhere between pervy and serial rapist. Still it’s cool to see the gay scene mix so easily in what you would expect would be the straightest of places.

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3 Responses to “Tattered covers and sexy cowgirls”

  1. Dr. Evil Cath March 30, 2012 at 4:47 pm #

    I like the sound of the bookshop, but I’m a bit scared of the Coyotes now!

    • commandpluszed March 30, 2012 at 5:01 pm #

      Cath, me and Daniel are convinced you’d love it!

      • Dr. Evil Cath March 30, 2012 at 5:14 pm #

        With two strapping lads to protect me, roll on September! I’m glad you’re having fun already 🙂

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